I did not mean to offend and I apologize if my tone was offensive. I guess I am more sensitive about this issue than I realized.
To me it isn't about being secretive or not being joyous. Because I am very joyous about this pregnancy and I want to talk about it and laugh about it. I was really trying to explain that I have not been given a specific "due date" as its traditionally referred to. Instead, I have a "guess month" and I was only trying to say that not having a "due date" doesn't stress me out.
As I said before -- is that modern evidence doesn't support a target due date, it is just an estimate. And I am going to relax and let this baby come when it comes -- so for me that means having a due month rather than a due date. Does this make sense? This also means it will be discouraging to me to hear in late April -- when is this baby coming? This baby is late! I really hope you can support me in this because your support is important. Did you have people ask you questions like this when you were pregnant? How did you find it easiest to respond? I find it frustrating to hear questions like this and haven't quite figured out the best way to respond yet.
I am so excited about this pregnancy -- everything about it. I am enjoying being pregnant and all the changes that come with it. I even like the preparations for labor and am excited about what will come after labor. For some people, it may sounds weird, but I love being pregnant. I love all of it. So I think that when asked if I am ready to be done with it or what I hate most -- it kind of surprises me and I can come off harsh. But truthfully, when I hear comments like that it is discouraging to me and I really really want to stay positive and to keep this enjoyment.
I love to focus on the positive aspects of the pregnancy, labor and the birth.
Mother of a "Special" Child
When I was young, I'd often say,
I'd like to be a mom someday
While playing with my baby doll,
I thought that job's not hard at all
I'd have a baby, maybe two,
a girl in pink...a boy in blue
Well I grew up and sure enough,
I'm now a mom and gosh it's tough
The baby that was sent to me,
was born with disabilities
At first I'm frightened through and through,
there's much to learn to care for you
This wasn't in my plans at all,
when I was young and played with dolls
Your mind and body were so weak,
you might not ever walk or speak
So much special care required,
I'm often scared and often tired
As months and years go slowly by,
I smile a lot but sometimes cry
To watch you grow and not complain,
though you endure your share of pain
Oh, how I'd hold you and I'd pray,
that you'd be healed and whole someday
But I knew that was not to be,
not physically or mentally
And so I taught you best I could,
your progress wasn't very good
But then one day I realized,
as I gazed into your loving eyes
That I had learned so much from you,
determination...courage too
A love so unconditional,
it floods my soul and always will
I'm proud to say I gave you birth,
for you're an angel here on earth.
God Choose a mother for a "Special" child
Most women becaome mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressure and a couple by habit.
This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
"Forrest, Marjotie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."
"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."
Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But she has patience?" asked the angel.
"I don't want her to have to much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."
"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make her live in her world and that's not going to be easy."
"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'. She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"
"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".
And what about her Patron saint? asked the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.
God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."
2 comments:
You know I love being pregnant too. There is only so many times in your life that you get to do it. I just told someone yesterday (who was complaining that she wanted the baby out) to enjoy being pregnant. Its over before you know it.
All that matters is that little baby thats coming. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Just bring their focus back to the baby.
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