Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Thoughts on Prayers

My earliest memories are my mom praying with me each night before bed.  And then I remember when I was 5 we added and “Please help grandma not to be lonely.”  Every night I remember praying that Grandma wouldn’t be lonely. You see Memorial Day 1984 my grandpa died of  Colin Cancer. I remember my dad leaving to go to the funeral and so badly wanting to go with him. I was small but have fond memories of my grandpa the few times I saw him. He read books to my sister and me. And I’ve heard stories of him rising over night (he was a traveling sales man) to come see me after i was born. Family was alway important to him. And I was later told he secretly baptized me in the bathroom because he was episcopal (grandma was too) and he was a convert and it was very important to him that I was raise a Christian.

I remember praying for the missionaries all over the world. Nightly and the map that hung on the wall. Intercession for others was daily in my house growing up. And something I need to teach better to my own children.

My grandma was very special to me. She died when i was about 19. I remember the funeral the friends hat would come tell each family member how she was special to them too.  My dad’s voice cracking as he missed his mom so much. My aunts white dress, and her beautiful voice as she sung amazing grace at the grave side. The car trip to Savannah with cousin Beth.  The wrong turn that gave grandma who loved to travel one last trip from Atlanta to Alabama on the way to Savannah. And I missed her after she died very much. It was close to that time that I entered the Catholic Church. I would go visit cemeteries anywhere to talk to her pray for her because I couldn’t make it to Savannah. The trip to Galveston where I would wander the old grave yard with tears steaming down my face on Holy Saturday just before Easter Sunday and tell her I missed her and pray for her soul and my grandpas.

I remember the stops to the tabernacle, I would make in the middle of the night after a NICU visit after William was born. And I would beg for my baby to be ok again.

Then one year about 4 or 5 years ago for lent. I took up praying for the dead for lent. I made a list. Guess it’s kinda always been right there. I have taught my kids that when we pass a grave yard we pray for the holy souls there in that grave yard and for all those with no one praying for them. When an ambulance passes we say a prayer for them. Bad accidents on the highway I will pray for those involved for the whole length of the backup sometimes it’s been miles. My side was moving. But the other side was stopped.

I added names where ever I happened on them. Friends posting prayers bulletin at church. Friends in the throws of grief not knowing how to keep on. I’m going to post the list I started before. And going to keep adding to it.

James Nors
Joe Shafer
Amanda felinko my own cousin
Andrew felinko her husband
Samantha Matthews baby daughter of Casey Matthews
Trey Wooten 4 year old son died in house fire
Stephen Eastridge son Adley Eastridge
Whitney Watson's dad Dwayne Mounce 
Michael Cassimatis 
Robert Henry Carson 
John Haggard. 
Hickman baby
Zimmerman baby
Baby Ferris O'Brien
Mike rogan father of 8 hit a deer
Carolyn Calderwood Daigle Graham (Jen Cathcart grandma)
Dr. Grady Harold O’Neal relative or father of Kim Watkins
Bill Grubbs FIL of Shannon Grubbs 
Jacob bendard 
Evelyn Erichsen 
Will Ganz dad
Daniel Crabtree. 19 year old son of Ms Crabtree
Kathleen Smith 
Uncle Vernon smith 
Uncle Allen smith 
Paxton wages 4 yr old
12/21/15 RIP Defenders:🇺🇸
SA Adrianna Vorderbruggen
SA Michael Cinco
SA Peter Taub
SA Chester McBride
SSgt Louis Bonacasa
TSgt Joseph Lemm
OSI/SFS 21Dec2015

Jordan cook St Anthony grp

Arron sleeper 19yr old
Perpetua Celestine Felicity Maria Hughes 
Gracelynn 6mo old of Hannah Jennifer over streets niece. 

Magdalene Therese Ramirez 10 year old daughter of Jeni Ramirez 

Monday, June 3, 2013

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Power Chair, LOOK OUT WORLD!

Will post a picture(S) soon, but this update was needed, before the pictures, and my trigger finger his been a little busy operating a remote stop button to get a picture.

Yesterday we picked up William's power chair. The first time we put him in it he did so awesome mama was near tears. We had to do some minor adjusting and positioning, and he was so patient with us. Then it was time to turn it on! He immediately drove straight forward, and turned to go out the door (except we weren't going out the door, it's TEXAS so we had to stay inside), then we headed to drive around a path on the outside of a large room, the room was roughtly square, had 3 offices on the far side away from the wall of windows. In the center of the room was several wheelchairs waiting delivery, or trial. Around the room was a path about large enough for the power chair and one person along side. The power chair is a silvery blue with red race car embroidered on the seat. The chair had head controls he pushes back with his head to go forward, turns his head to the left or right to navigate in those directions. Later we will add a toggle where he can power tilt the chair, or switch to reverse, or increase his speed. Also, there's an attendant control that can move him in other directions by the person walking behind him. It cruises along at a nice slow crawl while inside, and can go faster for outside. We have a remote stop button which is for use to prevent broken windows or falling off curbs while learning to drive. William navigate past the windows, and to the first corner with ease, straight shot, then surprising to everybody navigated the first turn on his own to the left side (right is the easiest side for him to turn, but he showed no problems with left on the corner, then drove perfectly straight again to the other side where the offices were. There were 3 offices each with a door and window. The first door was to the right of the path we're following with the window for the same first office just to the left of the path. At the offices he crashed into the window (stopped by remote stop), Besides who bothered to tell this 3 year old you can't just walk/drive thru windows. So then we repositioned him and started him again. He drove straight and into the first door of the next office and up to her table, and waved hi to the person in that office. Then we backed out him out of the office and sent him on his way again. Again he tried to drive into the 2nd office window, We corrected his path again, and he drove straight into the next office and waved hi to the two people in that office. Next, we pulled him back and sent him on his way again, next he stopped at the window and waved to the people in that 3rd office thru the window, at that point we stopped and put him in his walker so we could make the final adjustments on the walker before taking it home. I was told over and over that he did better than most kids do on the first time BY FAR. And our therapist we showed today at home said he did better than lots of kids do after over a month.

I was so near tears that my baby could finally go, where he wanted that people can actually see he's trying to say HI because "HE" is the one DRIVING. HE HAD the intent, it wasn't just me saying, OH he's waving, when I saw it and no one else did, EVERYONE else could see He is DRIVING...HE CAN TELL WHERE he wants to go!!!


PPS I just have to say thank you to all the therapist that made this possible that believed in us when others didn't, and THANK YOU to Heather Pinkerton with United Seating formerly Rehab Specialties for suggesting we finally get him in one, and MAKING it happen, when I've wanted to for 18 months now or more. Thanks specifically to Bernadine, A'Donna, Yiesha, Lydia (another therapist (PT) who wanted to put us in one months ago), And many others! Thank you also to Family members who have offered up countless prayers for our dear William. Can't forget to Thank TEXAS MEDICAID, and UNITED HEALTH CARE for making it possible to 100% fund this vehicle which costs more than all 4 of our vehicles PUT TOGETHER!

Next: My hunt next is to get him a communication system where he can TELL us what he wants even if he can't TALK, that will be his voice and encourage him to talk.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Sydney Ann

IMG_0459vintagewm, originally uploaded by conradzone.

Mother of a "Special" Child

When I was young, I'd often say,
I'd like to be a mom someday
While playing with my baby doll,
I thought that job's not hard at all

I'd have a baby, maybe two,
a girl in pink...a boy in blue
Well I grew up and sure enough,
I'm now a mom and gosh it's tough

The baby that was sent to me,
was born with disabilities
At first I'm frightened through and through,
there's much to learn to care for you

This wasn't in my plans at all,
when I was young and played with dolls
Your mind and body were so weak,
you might not ever walk or speak

So much special care required,
I'm often scared and often tired
As months and years go slowly by,
I smile a lot but sometimes cry

To watch you grow and not complain,
though you endure your share of pain
Oh, how I'd hold you and I'd pray,
that you'd be healed and whole someday

But I knew that was not to be,
not physically or mentally
And so I taught you best I could,
your progress wasn't very good

But then one day I realized,
as I gazed into your loving eyes
That I had learned so much from you,
determination...courage too

A love so unconditional,
it floods my soul and always will
I'm proud to say I gave you birth,
for you're an angel here on earth.

God Choose a mother for a "Special" child

Most women becaome mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressure and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

"Forrest, Marjotie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."

"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."

Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But she has patience?" asked the angel.

"I don't want her to have to much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make her live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'. She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".

And what about her Patron saint? asked the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."